I only have 58 days left

It's not that I am dying or something bad will happen and I have 58 days left to live this awesome life (God forbid), what I mean to say is I only have 58 days to prepare myself and accomplish things before my age turns 21 this coming May 10. How time pass by so quickly and I'm definitely not getting any younger at all, and some thoughts are bothering me lately that I became insomniac and it's giving me a migraine every now and then. So what's the fuss all about huh? nothing, just me loosing my self-esteem because at the age of twenty I still don't know what I want to do with my life and don't have any plans yet (that hits my head really really hard). This is the mere result of years I deprived myself from exploring life outside my room especially during high school days when I locked my self up in my room and watch television as long as it please me.

A time machine will help me a lot with my present situation if only I can turn back time and change things so that my life will not turn out the way it is now. In case you're wondering if I even have at least friends to mingle with and not just my very best friend which is the television set, yeah, I have friends but I don't see them often and I don't communicate much not really minding at all. To cut the chase, I am living within my comfort zone all those years and not minding anything about the future so here I am making sentiments about my foolishness. Now after seeking for advice from my dear friends and after reading a bunch of blogs and watching a lot of good vibes videos on youtube, I am ready to start from scratch and step by step creating myself because there's this saying that "life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself" which is very true.

A special thanks for my family and their never ending love and support for me whenever I'm in trouble or just feeling inferior they never fail to raise me up every downfall. This time I will make them proud by being strong enough to step out of my comfort zone and not let another year pass and miss out again somethings that matters. I can't wait to start the new chapter of my life and I'm looking forward to the adventures that awaits me. Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa ako magsisimula? life is unpredictable we have to expect the unexpected and live our lives to the fullest today without thinking about tomorrow. It's scary but I think I can handle it with the help of my loving family and friends I will do just fine.

Really looking forward for the new chapter of my life I know it will not be easy but someone have to change for the better and for the benefit of all. I can picture myself now after 5 years (oh yeah!), sometimes we just really need a little spanking to be able to wake up into reality.^_^

unbreakable habit

I have this morning habit of sticking those headset to my ears and listen to my favorite songs just to jump start the day 'cause mornings should be greeted with a smile that's why I had developed this habit. As a daily routine after a morning prayer I'll plug those headset to my ears and start playing those songs that makes my heart go wow! this habit will stay with me forever. Here's some of the songs on my playlist:

• Power of two by Aiza Seguerra
• Runaway by The Corrs
• A thousand miles by Vanessa Carlton
• Sparksfly by Taylor Swift
• Ikaw lang talaga by Yeng Constantino
• Say Ok by Vanessa Hudgens
• Gusto na kitang makita by Session Road
• When I look at you by Miley Cyrus
• You'll always find your way back home by Miley Cyrus
• Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood

My all-time favorites are Power of two, A thousand miles, Runaway and When I look at you there's just this feeling of kurot sa puso whenever I hear one of those songs. Kahit naman single ako may love life pa rin ako hindi naman ibig sabihin na kapag single ka wala ka nang minamahal na tao di'ba? Actually, I dedicate the song Power of two and A thousand miles to SpongeBob. :)

Kapag naumpisahan mo ang araw ng isang malaking ngiti sigurado magiging maganda ang araw mo basta pairalin lang ang positivity. Always remember that you can't live a positive life with a negative mind! Araw-araw may magagandang bagay na pwedeng mangyari kung sakali naman wala eh di gumawa ka ng maganda para may mangyari di'ba?. Umpisahan mo nang gawin ang mga bagay na magdudulot sa'yo ng saya. Go lang ng go! :D

a letter for someone special

I have a crush on this guy, who likes SpongeBob too and happens to have similarities with my father so I guess that's the real point why I like him a lot. Of course he doesn't know about it unless I’ll tell him, I want to but I guess it's not a good idea 'cause we are friends. I want to write a letter for him to say thank you for bringing out the best in me (literally) but having second thoughts because this might ruin our friendship. I’ll still write him a letter but will be confined in the four corners of this blog site with a lot of hope that in time he might be able to read this.

Hi tough guy,

            First, I want to tell you that I liked you before we even met personally that afternoon on the month of December, a friend of mine way back when told me about how great you are as a person and from that day forward you gain some place in my heart. It is crazy but it's true you really caught me without knowing about it, I can't blame you for being hard on me sometimes 'cause I know if you only knew you'll not treat me that way. Then the liking become stronger than before because I proved that the guy in my friend's story really exist and I finally met the guy I’ve been looking for all this time. But I am not expecting something from you or even assuming that we are meant to be, I don’t want to be hard on myself thinking you can like me too (I am not the type of girl you will like for sure). I am letting God do the job because if it meant to happen it will happen but now I am enjoying the ride, enjoying hanging out with you, and really enjoying being friends with you.

             

            I want to say thank you for bringing out the best me, after I met you I’ve never been the same person I think you have this power of changing people from being good to being better. I will give you a hug when I ever get a chance there will be no second thoughts about it, I’ll hug you if there’s a chance that is my way of paying back. You keep me motivated day after day I don’t know what will happen if I never met you maybe I’m still a pessimist. I am very happy that you walked in to my life and add some colors in it I could not ask for more in my life because I have those things that I needed. Even if we don’t end up as a couple I’ll still treasure this friendship we have and forever keep those sweet memories we had, I can’t feel sorry and I will never feel sorry even we don’t end up together for I am blessed that I have known you.

          

             Please continue to change people for the better, I’ll pray to God for you safety and may he always give you strength and courage in spreading change. I can only wish your happiness and success I will not be surprised if one day you’ll become a millionaire, but make sure to stay humble and keep your feet on the ground. Seasons may change so do I, for change is constant and I may no longer like you tomorrow but there’s one thing that I’m sure of and that is I’m glad to be given a chance to like you. For now, I’ll be giving some of my time to you ‘cause it’s the best thing I can share with you, who knows maybe this seed of likeness grow into a tree of love! Thank you very much SpongeBob. :)

                         

                                                                                                                                                                                        Monica